Bye bye boobie, hello bottle!

Bye bye boobie, hello bottle!

For those fellow mamas who are planning to go back to work or ready to stop breastfeeding, here’s my experience and tips on how to transition from boob to bottle:

I went back to work when Bub was 9 months old. I’d read that transitioning a baby off of breast milk would take time so at around the 6 month mark, I started the weaning process.

My initial plan was to wean Bub off daytime feeds, pump at work and feed at night until he settled into childcare. Then I would wean him off night time feeds too.

To wean off daytime feeds, I dropped one daytime feed every couple of days. This allowed my boobs to slowly reduce milk production and that feeling of rock hardness you get when you haven’t fed Bub. It was difficult initially because Bub kept crying and I felt bad, but after a couple days, he adjusted.

Instead of feeding via boob, I tried to use a bottle. He would not take it at all. It was surprising because when Bub was really going and I had mastitis, we used a bottle for a couple days and Bub was fine. It seems the older they get, the more they ‘know’. We also tried feeding from a spoon, a cup and a sippy cup. Funnily enough, what seemed to work well was a clean beer bottle. For some reason, Bub was able to take a few sips from that.

At the same time, I was pumping milk, but Bub still wouldn’t really drink it. So I decided fuck it I will use formula: easier and less work.

Eventually, we got Bub drinking from one of those baby bottles with a straw so didn’t need to use the beer bottle. What also helped was offering it to him between bites of food. However, I found that overall, he didn’t drink much formula. I was concerned, but he was onto solids anyway. Also, one of the childcare educators said most of the time, the babies who started off breastfed rarely take to formula anyway so that made me feel better.

We offered formula until he was 12 months. It was such a waste because he didn’t drink much, but we still offered it to him.

In terms of dropping night time feeds after 12 months, I decided instead to let him naturally wean off. We have a good routine going and popping him onto the boob if he cries overnight is quicker and easier for me to get as much sleep as possible. I joined a Facebook group about natural weaning and was told that a) they will stop needing boob to fall asleep and b) generally happens after 18 months. So for now, it is what it is.

So what are the lessons learnt?

1. If you’re ready to wean off, do it gradually and drop one feed every couple days, then another and another etc.

2. If Bub doesn’t take to a bottle, experiment to find what works. Don’t despair if nothing really works, it takes them awhile to get used to it.

3. If Bub doesn’t really drink formula, also don’t despair. You can supplement with food and for me I found my Bub was fine in the end.

4. It’s a lot of test and learn as well as some patience for Bub to adjust. Likely your plan may not eventuate, but do what works for you!

How to deal: parenting advice

How to deal: parenting advice

One of most interesting things I’ve encountered through becoming a parent is the amount of opinions, advice and judgement that’s provided to ‘help’ bring up Bub. This spans all aspects of baby raising ranging from how to feed them, how they ‘should’ be sleeping, how much clothing to dress them in (my personal favourite), what I ‘should’ do in different situations and what they’re ‘supposed’ to be able to do at different ages. Most of this advice is usually offered without us asking for it or seeking it.

I’m sure I’m not the only one so here are my tips on how to deal:

1. I try to keep a positive mindset and think: what is the true intention of this advice? Usually, it’s because the person genuinely cares about Bub or me and is trying to help us. So for example, recently I found out my mother in law had been using a bit of hair growth shampoo on Bub as he doesn’t have much hair yet. Initially, I felt a lot of concern because I don’t want him exposed to unnecessary ‘chemicals’, but I dug deeper and thought ok why? And it’s because she loves him and wants to make sure his hair is growing ok. The intention is pure and sweet. And by thinking like this, it helps with your reaction. So rather than respond angrily I was able to be more diplomatic. Unless you know some pretty horrible people, most people have very good intentions when passing on their baby advice – by thinking from their perspective, it should help the situation.

2. Listen to the advice: it might actually be valuable! Being new to the parenting gig, I’ve found if I actually listen and take in the advice, sometimes it’s actually pretty good. Sometimes I think we need to put our egos aside and try to take on feedback or even aspects of the advice to help improve our parenting experience. Think of it like being handed a bowl of fruit, you don’t’ have to eat it all, just what you like.

3.  Take it in and let it go: I generally find things run smoothly if I listen to what the person has to say and respond with a thanks or I’ll have a think etc. I don’t think it’s worth showing annoyance or getting really worked up. That being said, we’re all human and I’ve definitely cracked it before especially when it comes from people you’re very comfortable with like family haha! You may not be in control of what others say, but you’re in complete control of your reaction and how much you let it get to you. I find meditation extremely helpful if there’s something that really gets to me – it allows me space to think it through, feel the feelings and move forward

4. Gratitude: sometimes it may help to really take a step back and think of 3 things you’re grateful for. For me I’m so grateful for: having my parents and in laws around who are head over heels in love with Bub and willingly help where they can, having a supportive husband who lets me rant and take charge where I want to and most of all so grateful to have the opportunity to be a parent. If you’re ever feeling shitty about something someone has said or done in relation to Bub, this might help you see the bigger picture and work out next steps.

5.  Ultimately, you’re the parent so you do what YOU want and think is right. If you’re fortunate to have others around who can provide advice/help you with Bub, you’ve got to take the good with the bad. At the end of the day, most of our issues are probably first world problems which can be easily solved or we can let go. Your gut/heart/intuition is your best guide. Add in your best intentions and you’ve GOT THIS. Trust yourself and enjoy the ride (at least you’re on it!) 😊