Tag: weaning

Breaking up with breastfeeding

Breaking up with breastfeeding

by DIY: Babies & Parenting ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Recently over the Christmas/New Year period, I experienced a sad farewell to nighttime breastfeeding. This story will hopefully bring you some hope as an example of ‘natural’ weaning, but also some important lessons to keep in mind.

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. At the start of my boobin’ journey, I found it super difficult to get the hang of it. But after weeks and months of persistence, pain, emotional breakdowns and a bout of mastitis, I got the hang of it!

Breast is best – this is the mantra that as a new mum is honed into you. The not so good things about it:

-Your boobs feel like they’re on loan to your baby and you’re a milk machine

-You’re restricted in having a night out and have to be there on call for your Bub

-Overnight feeds = exhaustion and interrupted sleep

-When Bub develops teeth….good luck

The good bits:

-You feel special – this is something only you can give to your child

-Helps to bond with your baby

-You are amazed by how your body aka YOU can grow a human from your own ‘fluids’- this stuff helps Bub grow and protects them from illness. Apparently when you’re sick, your body starts making antibodies that get passed to Bub to try and help them avoid getting sick. Amazing huh!

I weaned Bub off of daytime breastfeeds before going back to work when Bub was 9 months. But we’d stuck with nighttime feeds as it was easier to settle him. There were plenty of days when I’d pine for the day that Bub wouldn’t need the boob. I’d look up different ways to wean, but they seemed to involve too much sleep sacrifice and I was pretty used to and lazy to change to be honest. Then I joined this Facebook group about natural weaning and one of the mums reassured me that they will naturally grow out of it and usually happens after they are 18 months.

However, the 18 month mark came and went and there was no indication of Bub giving up boob. So I started looking for ‘natural’ ways of weaning and thought the best time to try would be over a 2 week break from work.

However, leading up to this, I started feeling sad and nervous. Was this the right decision? Would I be harming Bub’s development? Would it work?

It wasn’t until after Xmas eve when Bub chose to stay over at his grandparents (covered in my previous blog post), that I realised how attached I was to breastfeeding. I realised that it wasn’t so much Bub who wasn’t ready, it was me.

After 2 separate nights with grandparents, I stopped offering boob and instead sung his favourite songs over and over until he fell asleep. Initially he still wanted boob, but seemed happy to listen to my singing until he fell asleep. If he woke up overnight I would hold and pat him and after awhile he fell back asleep. Now he is able to go to sleep without too much singing. He does like to touch the boob before sleeping but he doesn’t seem to want it (I secretly offered to him recently but he refused!).

I was surprised how ‘easily’ he seemed to take to this change which showed me that he was ready. For me, it was like experiencing a breakup. I realised something that only I could provide to my son was no longer needed (brings tears to my eyes even now).

But the 2 biggest lessons I’d like to share with you from this are:

1. TREASURE where you are now. Those moments good and bad with Bub, they will pass and one day be no more. And you will definitely pine for just one last time (that Last Time poem is so true!). So where you can, be present in that moment, enjoy what it has to offer and feel grateful for that moment.

2. There is NO RULE/FORMULA to follow for this. If you’re not ready, don’t force it just to meet other people’s expectations or what other Bubs have done. Each child is beautifully unique and develops at different stages. Do what works best for you and your baby.

So farewell breastfeeding, thank you for the hard but rewarding lessons you’ve taught me along the journey. Now it’s time to move onto other ways of loving my child and I can’t wait to learn these lessons.

No more booby?! A powerful lesson on being present

No more booby?! A powerful lesson on being present

by DIY: Babies & Parenting ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Recently I experienced a very powerful lesson on being present and wanted to share with you all.

Bub is 20 months and has been boobin’ to sleep and when he wakes overnight. For us, it’s been the easiest and quickest way to get a good night’s sleep. I’ve always talked about weaning him off, sought advice on how to do it and read about a multitude of natural weaning ideas.

My husband and I said that around Xmas 2019 when I’m on a 2 week break from work is when we should officially stop the boob. However the closer we got to this point, the more I realised something: it’s not Bub who needs weaning off, it’s me.

Last week, we were out late and had left Bub with grandma. As he had fallen asleep by the time we got home, we let him sleep over. It was SO weird without him and missed him terribly (although it was nice to have my first ever night of uninterrupted sleep after 20 months!). More recently, as we were leaving my parents’ place, he didn’t want to go home. Despite trying to entice him with booby, he was still adamant on staying so we let him have another sleepover.

This second time really hit me. I balled my eyes out from driving home and before bed. This is when I truly realised 2 things:

1. I was the one who wasn’t willing/ready to stop night time boobing. Despite the fact that it can be tiring and you miss out on being able to do other things like stay out late at night, this is one thing that only I could provide my child. What is a very lovely bonding time was ending. Also, it was a bit of a shock to realise that he was now making decisions and didn’t choose mummy. I felt rejected and of no use to him. Breastfeeding for me was so difficult to get right and now the journey seems to be ending-can’t help wanting to still hang on.

2. Nothing lasts forever and how important it is to be present in the moment. I’ll admit there were plenty of times I would be on my phone whilst Bub was boobin’ away and waiting for him to fall asleep. Now looking back, I wish I had put the phone down and watched the beautiful transition from awake to sleep knowing that he felt safe and comfortable being close to me. There is a beautiful poem which I’ll put below about treasuring the moments with your child because you never know when it’ll be the last time that moment will happen. Looking back at photos of Bub, he has changed and grown so much and although it felt slow at times, overall it has passed so quickly.

So the 2 lessons learned:

1. Don’t let others dictate what you should do as a parent. Do what you feel is right. For me, not sure if this is the ‘natural’ end to nighttime booby, but if it is, I like to see it as the fact that I’ve given Bub enough security and love at night so he feels ‘empowered’ and confident to not require it anymore.

2. No matter how mundane the moment may be, anchor yourself to the present moment and enjoy. It may be the last time you get to experience it.

The Last Time:

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will never be the same.

You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

But don’t forget …You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

There is a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed

your baby for the very last time.

They will fall asleep on you after a long day

And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,

And never pick them up that way again.

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night

And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.

They will hold your hand to cross the road,

Then never reach for it again.

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,

And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions,

Then never sing them that song again.

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,

The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.

They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time until there are no more times.

And even then, it will take you a while to realise.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.

For one last time.

Bye bye boobie, hello bottle!

Bye bye boobie, hello bottle!

by DIY: Babies & Parenting ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

For those fellow mamas who are planning to go back to work or ready to stop breastfeeding, here’s my experience and tips on how to transition from boob to bottle:

I went back to work when Bub was 9 months old. I’d read that transitioning a baby off of breast milk would take time so at around the 6 month mark, I started the weaning process.

My initial plan was to wean Bub off daytime feeds, pump at work and feed at night until he settled into childcare. Then I would wean him off night time feeds too.

To wean off daytime feeds, I dropped one daytime feed every couple of days. This allowed my boobs to slowly reduce milk production and that feeling of rock hardness you get when you haven’t fed Bub. It was difficult initially because Bub kept crying and I felt bad, but after a couple days, he adjusted.

Instead of feeding via boob, I tried to use a bottle. He would not take it at all. It was surprising because when Bub was really going and I had mastitis, we used a bottle for a couple days and Bub was fine. It seems the older they get, the more they ‘know’. We also tried feeding from a spoon, a cup and a sippy cup. Funnily enough, what seemed to work well was a clean beer bottle. For some reason, Bub was able to take a few sips from that.

At the same time, I was pumping milk, but Bub still wouldn’t really drink it. So I decided fuck it I will use formula: easier and less work.

Eventually, we got Bub drinking from one of those baby bottles with a straw so didn’t need to use the beer bottle. What also helped was offering it to him between bites of food. However, I found that overall, he didn’t drink much formula. I was concerned, but he was onto solids anyway. Also, one of the childcare educators said most of the time, the babies who started off breastfed rarely take to formula anyway so that made me feel better.

We offered formula until he was 12 months. It was such a waste because he didn’t drink much, but we still offered it to him.

In terms of dropping night time feeds after 12 months, I decided instead to let him naturally wean off. We have a good routine going and popping him onto the boob if he cries overnight is quicker and easier for me to get as much sleep as possible. I joined a Facebook group about natural weaning and was told that a) they will stop needing boob to fall asleep and b) generally happens after 18 months. So for now, it is what it is.

So what are the lessons learnt?

1. If you’re ready to wean off, do it gradually and drop one feed every couple days, then another and another etc.

2. If Bub doesn’t take to a bottle, experiment to find what works. Don’t despair if nothing really works, it takes them awhile to get used to it.

3. If Bub doesn’t really drink formula, also don’t despair. You can supplement with food and for me I found my Bub was fine in the end.

4. It’s a lot of test and learn as well as some patience for Bub to adjust. Likely your plan may not eventuate, but do what works for you!